Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Dreams

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I've been having really weird, vivid dreams lately. In one, I was fighting alongside Harry Potter and Hermoine, in another I was out in the desert doing a cultural study on some very Manson-esque hippie cult, and in yet another Kate Middleton confessed to me that she wished her wedding had been "more personal."

Yeah, I don't know what's with my brain, either.

Maybe the weirdest one of all, though, involved being in a fairly large church. I was sitting toward the back, alone, and in front was an older man who was preaching. He was a bully, a Fred Phelps type. I don't remember exactly what he was saying, but I do know that it provoked a very strong, visceral negative reaction from me. I couldn't believe people were listening to this, and I wondered if they were actually buying it. I also thought about how damaging it could be, how far it would spread, and how many new visitors would walk away from Jesus because of it.

So I stood up. And I called him out.

He told me to that he was the leader of the church, and that as a woman, I had no right to speak up or question him. Then he told me to sit down and shut up.

But I didn't. I kept standing. I kept talking.

And then, the craziest thing started to happen--other people started to stand up with me. By the time I was finished, there were just a handful of people still sitting.

The pastor left, with a few people behind him...and suddenly I was in charge of a church.

Now, I have a background in clinical psychology, so when it comes to interpreting dreams--I think it's total quackery, to be honest. But, aside from being pretty entertaining (and apparently really weird, if you happen to have my brain), they can be pretty thought-provoking, even though I don't think they necessarily mean anything.

Here's the thing: in my dream, I stood up--but would I, in real life? If I was in a church, and the pastor started gay-bashing, referring to women as inferior, or using Jesus for personal or political gain...would I stand up in front of the congregation and publicly take a stand? Standing up, walking out, and ranting about it later--that I've done. But that's not enough. It maintains the silence.

There's a very well-known, mega-church pastor whose books and sermons are pretty popular with some people I know. He's a bully. He's said rude, dismissive, and misleading things about a friend of mine, as well as another friend's father (both of whom are also authors), and he's pretty condescending toward people who aren't like him. I would really like to think, that if I was in his congregation and he said those things, I'd stand up. The longer I think about it, though--the more excuses I can come up with.

"My gosh, that would be speaking in front of a huge group of people."

"I don't know my Bible as well as him; he would probably try to make a fool out of me."

"I'm not very eloquent when I'm flustered; I do much better when I have time to think and type out a response."

All of those excuses have something in common: fear. And always, if I keep my mouth shut when I should speak up, it's because of fear. I'm thankful for dreams in which I can be fearless, and I hope that they'll teach me to live as well waking as I do when I'm asleep. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm getting better.

Thanks for listening to my word vomit today. I know hearing about other people's dreams is about as interesting as looking at their family photos or hearing about their operation in full detail. If you stuck it out through the whole thing, you're a special kind of awesome.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Music Monday and Evidence of My ADHD: The Milk Carton Kids

I don't know about you, but I'm full-on pining for fall now. I make myself wait until September to bring out all the pumpkin and cinnamon scented candles, but sweaters are already back in my closet (ha--who am I kidding?--they never left) and my musical preferences have been slowly been getting more and more "fall-ish."

Side Note 1:  am I the only one who thinks that seasons have music types? They totally do.

Anyway, I'm working on a full fall playlist, but I just can't bring myself to post it just yet. It IS still August, after all. However, there's one album that I've been playing consistently that satisfies my autumn-craving heart--"The Ash & Clay" by The Milk Carton Kids. It's like listening to a bluegrassy Simon & Garfunkel, and there's nothing that isn't amazing about that.

Side Note 2: These guys are also on the Promised Land soundtrack, which is a really really freaking good movie. So you should see that. Oh, music, right. Prepare yourself for a lot of people driving. Here you go:






Side Note 3:  The Milk Carton Kids are known for giving away their music--although the current album is only available for purchase, you can download their previous albums from their website for free!

Side Note 4:  I really don't have ADHD. I promise. I mean, at least I don't think I do. Ooooh, cookies...........

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Currently

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Drinking: coffee. Are you guys aware that Target has a Kona blend? MY GOSH. I mean, it's not quite as good as pure Kona coffee, but it's pretty darn close. I paired that with a splash of Girl Scout Cookie creamer (Caramel Delight, obviously) and well.....we just won't talk about how much coffee I've had in the past 24 hours. I think I'm starting to see sounds.

Watching:  Tyler play Disney Infinity. I'm not going to lie, as far as video games go, this one looks pretty darn fun.  I'm pretty "eh" about video games (with one major exception that is SO NERDY I just can't even bring myself to name it), but they're Tyler's #1 hobby. This looks like one I'll actually play when I have some time to kill.....which happens oh-so-often. ;)

Wearing:  pajamas.....still. Hey, it's Sunday, and I'm going to just be around the apartment all day. Cast those judging eyes elsewhere. Does it make it better if I made the shirt myself?

Trying: to convince myself to do things. I need to do things, you guys.

Reading:  Well, technically right now I'm reading what I'm writing, but I've BEEN reading The Princes in the Tower by Alison Weir. It takes me a while to get through her books because there is SO much information in there, and I want to make sure I'm actually absorbing it. When it comes to history books, she's my gal. I also picked up four Philippa Gregory books from the bargain section yesterday. Guilty pleasure reading anyone?

Thinking about:  the massive list of things I have to do today. I love having Tyler home on the weekends now, but it turns me into the worst procrastinator on the planet. We went to get groceries yesterday, and we ended up at Toys R Us, Barnes & Noble, and the mall before we ever  hit the grocery store. I'm easily distracted.

Dreading: work this week. Honestly, there have been more bad days than good days lately. It seems like there are phases where I really love my job and phases where it's a constant source of stress. I have a feeling that the only thing getting me through the next four days is knowing that I'll have a four-day weekend at the end of it (thank you, Labor Day!).

Loving:  this little Chromebook. I honestly wasn't so sure about it at first, and it's definitely not a computer replacement. Now that we have a *real* computer again, thanks to my amazing mom-in-law (Tyler seriously has the BEST family. I lucked out big time with in-laws. They are some of the most loving, supportive, genuinely kind people I know), we're in a really good place, technology-wise.  I use our *real* computer for heavier tasks, like editing and putting together wishboards and such--I was really frustrated for awhile trying to do that with the Chromebook; it's so cumbersome trying to do that all online!--but this little guy is pretty perfect for just writing and surfing the internet (and, ahem, researching our trip. You're going to be so tired of hearing about that by the time we actually go!).

Excited about:   some cute embroidery ideas that have been swimming around in my brain lately. I've never considered myself a really creative person, but I have discovered that the more I engage in those types of activities, the more original ideas I seem to come up with. It's exciting.

Feeling: really consumed by all things England lately. Wanderlust is pretty much a constant state of being for me, but sometimes it flares up really badly--to the point where I'm researching jobs in other countries,  jobs that let me travel for a living, or degrees in British history from UK colleges. I haven't gotten quite there yet, this time, but I've definitely been dreaming of quaint villages with thatched-roof cottages in the English countryside. All the travel planning doesn't help!

Hope you're enjoying the last bit of your weekend!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Peace


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"Peace did not come into my life.
My life escaped,
and peace was there."

Leonard Cohen, from "Report to R.S.B"

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Wanderlust

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Lately I've had the strongest case of wanderlust--the kind that makes you just want to pack up and go, without considering the details or the consequences. I'm the type of person who, if given the opportunity, would sell everything I own and travel for the rest of my life, just living out of a suitcase. What I have matters much less than what I do, and for most of my life, my financial history has reflected this--I've always spent much more on experiences than things. Lately, though, that's not so much the case, and it has me feeling particularly stuck. It also has me digging through old travel guides and trying to find ways to live abroad for even just a few years.

Recently I told Tyler that I wanted to take a trip to England for my 30th birthday. He was all for it.  Our birthdays are only a little over a year apart, so we actually decided to take one big trip in between them to both England and Ireland, since Tyler has always wanted to go to the latter. Since we made the decision to go, I've spent nearly every free moment planning and budgeting and looking up travel possibilities--even though it's 2-3 years away. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if the wanderlust is to blame for my excitement, or if my extreme excitement about going back to England is making my wanderlust flare up. I just know that I can't wait, and I'll probably be obsessing over the details until we hop on the plane.

And if, in the meantime, we manage to find a way to move to England and spend our weekends wandering through Europe, that would be just fine, too.

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Monday, August 19, 2013

Music Monday

Just a few tunes I've been listening to lately. Happy Monday!

Lately by Jess on Grooveshark
Mobile link: click here.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Afterlight

Last week was rain; every day brought a new thunderstorm and a rainbow of umbrellas on the streets. Rainy days seems to pull on me, making me deeper, fuller, and more whole. I'm one that thrives in the foggy wet dreariness, whose soul is renewed by staring out windows into the grey while wrapped in a blanket with a piping hot cup of tea.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

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Some summer days are so breezy and lovely that you are simply obligated to climb to the top of a parking garage with a friend and look out over your city. As you stand there, soaking in the sunshine and the midwestern quaintness of it, and fighting to keep the wind from rearranging your dress over your head, you're washed in gratitude for it all--life, friendship, and warm summer days. And if you're anything like us, you also feel required to snap photos so you can always remember the way you felt in that dress, on that day, in that moment. 


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Outfit details Dress: bought second-hand from Bri // Shoes: Charlotte Russe // Belt: Target // Glasses: Firmoo.com

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Liebs.

A few days ago, I received an email from Angela, a fellow blogger, letting me know that she was nominating me for a Liebster Award on one of her posts. I've seen these around, and had even been nominated once before (but it was during a super crazy-busy time, so I never went through with it); however, I hadn't really taken the time to look into what it entailed.

Before you get all crazy-excited, there's not a real award. Nobody's whisking me away to some exotic location, shaking my hand, and giving me a shiny new paperweight or anything (which is good, because aside from the "exotic location," I'm not really into that idea). It's basically a way to get to know more about the gals (and guys) behind the small blogs you love while promoting them to your readers. The fact that someone wants to know more about me and my silly little day-to-day is really flattering, so I'm going to participate. I snagged this little blurb from Angela's post:

"Each nominee is tasked with choosing 11 more bloggers to nominate for the award.
Then you have to list 11 random facts about yourself, write 11 random questions for your nominees and answer the 11 questions given to you when you were nominated.
"

Pretty straightforward. Here goes:

11 Facts:


1.  When I was little, I was obsessed with unicorns...and I might have a bit of a soft spot for them still. ;)

2. I legitimately want a pet red fox. I already have the name picked out and everything. They are the cutest, sweetest, funniest animals. Love love love.  

3. I don't have a favorite color. It changes constantly. 

4. I can do a dead-on impression of Fran Drescher from "The Nanny." DEAD ON.

5. I hate playing board games. I always put way too much pressure on myself if it's a game of skill, and if it's a game of luck, I get frustrated that my skill is worthless. If it's a combination, it's even worse, because I don't know how much control I have. Can you tell I over-think things? And I have control issues? Maybe a little? 

6. I loved the Roald Dahl book Matilda as a kid, and because of it, I was secretly convinced that I could be telekinetic if I was smart enough and tried hard enough. I never managed to get anything to move, though. ;) 

7.  I never believed in ghosts until some extremely strange, inexplicable things started happening in a house I lived in. Ever since, I've been really fascinated with the paranormal, and have even been on a few ghost hunts....with my own equipment. This very well might be the nerdiest thing about me. 

8. I was an English major before I started studying psychology, and I very nearly majored in history.  

9. I am the worst about starting too many things at once. I can't tell you how many half-finished projects I have sitting around the apartment right now because I start one, and then think of another one that I'm more excited about. 

10. If I could have any job in the world, I would be the curator of a museum at an English historical site.  

11. I am really really really bad at coming up with 11 random facts about myself. Really bad.

Angela's Questions: 


1. What is your favorite book that you’ve read recently? I've been super into reading British history books lately, as nerdy as that is. It's really hard to pick a favorite, but I'm currently reading "The Princes in the Tower" by Alison Weir. I'm loving it so far, particularly because it's about King Richard III, and I've been gobbling up every bit of information I can about him since his body was discovered under a parking lot a few months ago. England is prepping right now for his "proper burial" to the tune of $1.5 million. Sorry about the geek-tangent there. 

2. What is your favorite TV show? I'm equally obsessed with Downton Abbey, Call the Midwife, Law & Order: SVU, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Little Britain (even though it's not on the air anymore. Le sigh.) I've probably forgotten one, too.....

3. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Lavender. All day long. Especially when dropped in cream soda and drizzled with honey. Mmm.

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4. What do you order at Starbucks? (Or any coffee shop for that matter.) Usually just an iced coffee. I'm pretty boring. In the fall, I'm all about some Pumpkin Spice Lattes, though, and sometimes I order black tea lemonades, just for a change. 

5. Most inspiring song you’ve heard lately? Say what you want, but I find a lot of inspiration in Mumford & Sons. I've said before that M&S is my worship music, and that's really true for me. There's a song that I have an old bootleg copy of (it's now on their live "Deluxe Companion" album) called "Hold On to What You Believe" that I've had on repeat lately. Their version of "Come Thou Fount"--my favorite hymn--is perfection, too. 

6. Favorite Bible verse or quote that is hitting home right now? Psalm 46:5 "God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved..." and Deuteronomy 31:8 ""The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you..." I've been thinking a lot about the presence of God lately, and feeling it in a way I haven't in a very long time, honestly. Grateful. 


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7. Something you would purchase right now if money was not an issue? A vacation in England. Actually, citizenship in England. (Can you buy that?)

8. Something new you learned recently? So much British history, you guys. SO MUCH.

9. Favorite dinner meal? Roast with potatoes, carrots, and onions! Mmm!

10. Must-have beauty product? Does chapstick count as a beauty product? 

11. 3 words that describe you? "Old-soul", "freespirited", and "loyal." At least, I hope that describes me pretty well. If not, I have some things to work on.



11 Blogs....sort of: 

After literally hours trying to decide which other bloggers should have this award, I'm no closer to narrowing it down. My problem is that there are too many blogs I enjoy reading (seriously, you should see my Bloglovin. It's crazy); I've started to post a blog roll on my blog, and it was just too much. TOO MUCH. Anyway, so I've decided to flip things around a bit for this section, and ask you the questions. Didn't see that coming, didja? If you want to play along, feel free to post your answers in the comments or make your own post and leave a link to your blog below. I'm sincerely looking forward to finding out more about you, sweet reader.

11 Questions for You:

1) If you had to move from your current country, but could live anywhere else in the world, where would you go?

2) What is your favorite childhood memory?

3) What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

4) You can only watch one movie for the rest of your life. Which one do you pick?

5) If you could time-travel to any point in history, what period would you visit?

6) You're given an unlimited budget and unleashed in any store you choose. Where do you have your shopping spree?

7) What is your favorite place you've ever been?

8) How do you unwind after a long, stressful day?

9) What song never fails to make you smile?

10) If you could magically be granted any talent, what would you choose to have?

11) What is the best advice you've ever received?

Monday, August 12, 2013

I just don't know what to do with this.

Can I be honest? I'm not really sure what to think of this new Civil Wars album. I mean, I want to like it, because Barton Hollow was so so so good....but it isn't Barton Hollow.  I mean, I'm not one of those people who thinks that every album from an artist needs to sound the same, either; I appreciate when artists can grow and change and try something new. The thing is, the Civil Wars' sound was really unique at first; this new album sounds a lot more generic...and some songs are more country (even modern pop-y country!) than folk. There's electric guitar in here, ya'll. If I didn't know it was them, I'm not sure I would be able to tell just by listening to some of the songs. The harmonies are are still awesome, and there are some stand-out songs I really really like, but as a whole....I just don't know. My brain can't process. What do you guys think? Have you listened yet?





Mobile link: click here


Mobile link: click here

Saturday, August 10, 2013

My little bro.

Growing up in the country, there weren't many kids around. Sure we had church and play dates with friends, but as far as day-to-day goes, I was pretty much on my own...at least until my little brother Ethan was born when I was almost five. When we were younger, we fought a LOT (mainly because I was a bit of a brat, if we're being honest), but we also had more than our fair share of adventures, like the time Ethan caught a baby bunny with his bare hands....or the time I tricked him into eating dog food (brat, remember?)..........or the time we had a mud war......or the time he ran us into a tree while driving the four-wheeler. It seems like we just grew closer the older we became. By the time I was a teenager, he was threatening my boyfriends with the classic, "You break her heart and I'll break your face,"--an interesting threat from an 11-year-old, but he definitely meant it. Through college and across the state, we'd talk for hours on the phone. We held hands as we watched our father pass away, and last year, he was the one to walk me down the aisle when Tyler and I were married.


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Today is Ethan's birthday, so today I'm celebrating 23 years of having a confidant, protector, partner-in-crime, and friend. I couldn't be luckier. We've been through a lot in those years, especially in the past few, but everything we've faced has just made us closer, and our bond stronger. I love you, baby brother. Thanks for 23 years of awesome.

Friday, August 9, 2013

7 Things Making Me Happy Today

I've been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but I'll take it. It seems like I just have lots of reasons to be happy. Good things are happening. And there are also these:

One: The new Mumford & Sons video. Even if you aren't a M&S fan, just trust me on this one.




Two: Season 8 of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is out at the beginning of September. We don't have FX, so I can't watch it in-season, but I always buy it the day it comes out on DVD/BluRay. I LOVE this show. It's completely inappropriate in the most hilarious way possible. I'm not ashamed.

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Three:  We've been having lots of dreary, rainy days. Minus the flooding, I'm l-o-v-i-n-g it. I would take a good rainy day over pretty much any other kind of weather.

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Four: This GIF. I'm way too obsessed with SVU. Just ask my husband.

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Five: This Etsy shop. I just want one of everything, please.

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Six: Starting to legit plan another trip to England. It won't happen for another few years, but I've stopped dreaming and started getting together itineraries and budgets....oh man. I've got the travel bug, and I've got it bad.

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Seven: This video. It needs no introduction.

 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

So, officially:

I think Matthew Gray Gubler is my spirit animal.

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Yep. Definitely my spirit animal.

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Hashtag fangirling.

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Monday, August 5, 2013

Monday again.

I have a friend that genuinely loves Mondays. I will never understand it. He sees them as a fresh new start to every week (and yes, he's also a morning person) and gets excited when one is around the corner.

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I pretty much see them as the death of my freedom for four days.

Okay not really, but they are a little hard for me--even harder coming off of a great weekend. I generally need about three cups of coffee and some good music to bribe myself out of bed and into the office. So for the few of you out there who are like me, I give you one of my old stand-by Monday morning songs. I'd ship you all coffee if I could.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Currently....

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Drinking: San Pellegrino Limonata.....always. My blood is approximately 89% lemon at this point.

Watching: Tyler play some weird, exceptionally gory video game with "Anarchy" in the title.....while singing Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," which has been in his head all day. It's a combination you truly have to see to appreciate.

Thinking about: a Honey Lavender Float. I had one yesterday (betcha can't guess where I got it...ha!) and oh.my.goodness. I thought lavender ice cream was good, but this was ridiculous. New favorite.

Dreading: grocery shopping tomorrow. I don't know why it always seems like such a huge undertaking. I mean, it's just food.

Excited about: Tyler's new job. The job search was really starting to wear on him and affect him mentally and emotionally, and it's really so wonderful to see him so happy now. He's worked so hard over the past year, and I couldn't be prouder of him. He's so excited, and I'm excited for him. Plus, having weekends like this one (where we're both off!) every weekend is going to be amazing.

Feeling: all the good feelings. I'm a happy gal lately.

Wishing for: some good organizational strategies. I have this problem where I want to do everything. I start too many projects at once, and then I'm pulled in a million different directions. This is also why I am good at a lot of things and awesome at none. I have roughly zero focus. And it's kinda hard to blog consistently, learn French, embroider a bazillion quilt blocks, and become a British history expert while working a full-time job. So I gotta get this under control over here. :) Any tips? I'm all ears.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Life in IG: Catching Up

Thanks to the big computer debacle of 2013, it's been a bit since I've done an IG post. So there are a lot of photos. I tried to pare it down a bit (you're welcome)! Here's what's been happenin'.


I finally, FINALLY got to meet the lovely Alyssa, after ages of being internet friends. I went to high school with her husband, Joshua, and he's one of the few people I still talk to from back home (thank you, internet), so we met online through him. When she came to town, we knew we had our chance to get together, so we went to Brown Egg and hit up a couple local thrift shops. Then later we went by Elle's for ice cream with our husbands and some friends of Josh & Alyssa's. It was a blast, and nice to catch up with Josh, too; it's been *ahem* a few years since high school. 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Lessons from my mother


I spent the past few days back at my mom's house, helping her recuperate after surgery. She had good days and bad days while I was there, but she was a model patient--rarely complaining, almost always positive, and relatively low-maintenance for someone who had both of her knees replaced. The thing that struck me, though, was her selflessness. She kept trying to give me money for gas, worrying that I wasn't getting enough sleep (I wasn't), and trying to send me home with DVDs, books, and tupperware. She kept talking about being able to get around on her own so she wouldn't inconvenience anyone, how she misses the youth group she leads at church and about some new books she wanted to use with a drug rehab group she works with. I don't know about you, but if I have a surgery like that, I'm probably gonna have a few "poor me" days afterward. Not my mom, though. I noticed when I first walked in on Sunday that she had a piece of paper laying beside her on the bed. When I picked it up, I saw that it had names written on it, front and back.

"What is this?" I asked her.
"Prayer list, " she replied. "I can't really help anyone, but I can sure pray while I'm lying here in bed."

Two pages of people to pray for, and her own name wasn't even on it.

I think that I treat people well, but it isn't until I'm around my mom for a couple days that I begin to see, in the light of her selflessness, how selfish I am by comparison. She's infinitely more loving, genuine, and compassionate than I am.

27 years old, and still learning from my mom every single day. May I never stop.

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