Thursday, March 3, 2016


It's been awhile.

Since I've been in a church, I mean.

But this morning I joined the Episcopalians for liturgy.

I know very few people with a linear faith, who have never
wondered, if.

I'm certainly not one of them. And I don't know if I envy them or not.

But I think not.

Because the opposite of faith isn't doubt at all.

It's certainty.

The lines of my faith are
and tangled.

I trace and retrace the same steps to make sure they're still imprinted in the floor,
and sometimes I find them missing.

And I go looking.

For days,
for months,
for years.

And then, sometimes, I stop and sit awhile

and look up.

And find them dancing on the ceiling.


  1. Lovely post.
    The past year has been a big one for my beliefs, and I'd be lying to say they're sorted out at the moment, but it's always nice to find another transparent about these feelings.

    1. I just keep telling myself that the process is really the point. The way I see it, the minute I think I have it all figured out is the moment I can be sure I'm wrong. A god small enough for me to fully understand is a god too small to worship, so I've stopped being ashamed about not having all the answers. <3


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