Tuesday, May 21, 2013

One whole year.

Earlier this month, I hit the one-year mark working for my current company. Man, there have been some highs and definite lows (you might remember this post), but when I sit back and really think about how I feel right now, the only word I can come up with is "content." Am I happy with my job all the time? No.  Is working with kids with autism a breeze? No way. Are there days I want to throw in the towel? Yes. Do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Probably not. But right here, right now...I'm content.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't a hard year. I've had a ton of sick days (thanks to working with kids/germ machines for the first time), and I've been hit, kicked, pinched, screamed at by 3-4 year-olds. There have been kids who tried to hurt me, kids who tried to hurt themselves, and days where I've come home and collapsed into a teary mess in Tyler's arms. I've been frustrated, anxious, angry, and exhausted. I have questioned every job-related decision I ever made.

But there have also been days where parents have said that they can see a difference in their child.  There have been days where I ride an emotional high because a child said an intelligible word for the first time, or made some other small but very important step toward a better life. And that is the key--the difference, the meaning.

I may not have an easy job, but I sure have a meaningful one.

And for now, that's enough for me.

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