Thursday, August 7, 2014

Loft Lust

(First off, this is a pretty-much pointless personal rambling post, so I won't be offended at all if you skip it. I started writing with a completely different intention, but you know how these things go sometimes...)

So lately, I've been feeling restless in our little one-bedroom apartment. There just isn't enough room for us (and all my books.....eesh), and I hate that people have to get a hotel room or sleep on the couch if they come to visit. I've spent the past year getting about 10 emails a day from Trulia and Zillow (I swear, I could tell you every single house for sale in the whole Springfield area!), and becoming all googly-eyed over a few listings, but feeling waaaaaaay too commitment-phobic about buying a house. I love Springfield, and I would be fine with coming back here eventually, but I don't want to live here forever. In a few years, I'd like to be living somewhere else for awhile (preferably somewhere on a small island between the Irish Sea and the English Channel if you get what I'm sayin'), and I don't want owning a house to keep us here longer than we'd like to be.

(Side note: I'm noticing committment-phobia is a reoccurring theme in my life. That's a whole different blog post.)

So after talking this through with Tyler, he agreed that we shouldn't buy a house without some long-term plans to stay; then he, pragmatist that he is, suggested we just get a two-bedroom apartment in the same building we're in now. Our discounts and maybe even deposit should transfer, and we wouldn't even need boxes to move. Brilliant right?

Right, except for the fact that I started feeling like I was going to have a panic attack.

I couldn't figure it out, at first--there was something about that plan that made me feel like I was going to suffocate, but I didn't know what it was. So I mulled it over for a couple days, and it hit me:

I have never felt home here.

Sure, we moved our furniture in, and hung things on the walls; we've eaten, showered, and slept here for over two years. In all that time, though, I never felt like we really made this space ours. So I brought this up to Tyler and we discussed it some more. He asked what exactly about the apartment made me feel that way; I always thought it was just the temporary nature of apartments, but before I even really thought about it, this is what came out of my mouth:

Outside of our things, there isn't a single thing about this place that I like--I hate the carpet, the countertops, the cabinets, the paint color, the trim....Everything is so cookie-cutter and completely devoid of personality. I just want a space that feels like us--and as hard as I try, I can't make it feel like us because those permanent aspects of the apartment are just so BLAH.

And that's it. When we picked these apartments, we were soon-to-be-newlyweds just starting our careers. These apartments were (and are) clean, safe, and cheap. They were in a great location for us at the time, because we took two different major highways to get to work, and they're close to both. But now? Well, now we're progressing in our careers, we both work in the city, and I just want more than clean/safe/cheap. I feel a little selfish for it (especially when Tyler is so function-over-form that it's not funny), but I have some major loft lust right now.

LOFT
Source

I didn't say much about the lofts initially (because they're so much more expensive than what we pay now, and come with less amenties....eeesh), but Tyler caught me looking at them online. I think it really stressed him out at first, but then I started getting texts at work about them; a few days ago he brought up how we should really start looking now so we know what we want and where our budget is. He also said we needed establish a separate budget for all the coffee we'll be buying at the Mudhouse, since we'll be living downtown, so I'm starting to get a little excited. We're actually talking about this like it might happen, folks. In the very best-case scenario, we'll still be here until April (since that's when our lease is up), and worst-case is a year after that, since I'm laying some groundwork to be in a (much) better place financially. Just knowing that the end is in sight makes me so much happier already, though. We probably won't end up in one as gorgeous as that picture (because holy expensive), but as long as I'm in one that doesn't look like my grandma picked out the cabinets (no offense grandma!) I'll be content.

In the meantime, I'll keep trying to find ways to maximize our tiny space and make it feel more homey. All suggestions welcome. Oh, and thanks for listening to my excited rambling! Do I sound like a college student about to get her first apartment? Because that's a little bit what I feel like. I get to DECORATE....and maybe actually have it look like I want it to when I'm done. 

Mind. blown.

4 comments :

  1. That loft. <3 I know what you mean, while I feel more at home in our apartment because it's where we retreat to, I don't want to put much time into decorating it, because it feels like such a temporary space. (And in our case, it really is) But I've found that keeping a Pinterest board of inspiration and project ideas and designing myself, makes me a little more excited about it.

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  2. How exciting!!! I love that your man is in full support and you guys get to search together for your perfect place. :-)

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  3. So as a home owner, I totally get your guys' phobia of committing to a place where you may not stay for a few years. That being said, have you ever rented a house? I feel like, depending on what kind of apartment you find, if you look hard enough, you can find a nice little house to rent (round tree neighborhood is da bomb). We rented a house here, little brick bungalow, before buying a house and it really helped us to know what we liked and what we didn't like as far as buying one day. It was small, had its perks and disadvantages, but it felt like home to us.

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  4. I am SO with you. Mm hmm. T and I have always lived in one bedrooms together. We've also moved around way more than anyone should, really. Last year was a nightmare because we didn't have a home. Waiting for Germany, then Germany. In January I was beside myself with excitement that we'd finally have a home with our stuff. Oh, look at that, they made an error and we'd have to wait another month. Then we finally moved in to the biggest place we've ever had. It's a loft ;) All I wanted to do was unpack our books boxes (the only things we kept). BUT we also accumulated a stack of books last year. About double our bookshelves worth. So. Our glorious loft right now is basically one big bookshelf, plus two desks (because I work here too oh happy day).

    What's my point besides to ramble? I don't know. That lofts are grand, and hidden and they are the perfect place to store your library of books without freaking guests out.

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